Sunday, June 07, 2009

Realization

What got my butt off the comfortable bed and into shoes and shorts for an additional run this afternoon?
— I will share that with you in a moment.
First, I would like to take care of some general housekeeping.

Most of you following my 26.2 Gulp blog know its history spans almost four years with hundreds of training miles and three fund raising 26.2 with Donna Marathons. You also know a lot about why I run and even more importantly how incredible my shared experience has been with thousands of people throughout the country united in this truly unique effort. What you don’t know is the number of excuses I have made for myself over the past two years that have kept me from actually fulfilling my own potential. That’s correct, I said the dirty word and now it’s time to fess up.
The best way for me to explain myself is to simply state— instead of running toward my potential I seem to find it easier to run away. A fairly cliché statement however, I never imagined looking at my life through this kind of paradox. I have always been the guy that never wanted to be straddled by a harness of normalcy. When a dream or vision would present itself and the chance to make it a reality was provided I never hesitated to go after it with 100% of my being.
Lately I have found “normalcy” to be a comfortable place for me. Of course this is a very relative view of where I am at in my life however, I can point to a definite shift in attitude that has been slowly creeping over me for some time. Is it boredom? Is it age? Is it laziness? Is it fear? I’m not sure — it might be all of those things. What I DO know is that I seem to be drinking more and I don’t seem to be as happy. Before I go on with the all the self loathing please understand this has nothing to do with my family. I cherish my wife and girls and we are in one of the best periods of our twenty five years together.
Funny thing is I know how fortunate I am. My creative talent is an incredible blessing and there always seems to be an opportunity to be useful. Why is it then that I don’t remain in a better state of appreciation for what I have? Maybe that’s why I got my butt off the bed and into running shoes.
I had already run 3.5 miles in the morning, updated a web site for a friend and spent 3hrs at the office preparing items for Monday (so you might say that was a “filled" Sunday). By 1:30 I was at home and by 3:30 the afternoon showers were coming down hard and the television was tuned on the Prefontaine Classic (if you don’t know anything about “Pre” please do some Google research). The athletes were incredible. It was inspiring. But do you know what really got my attention? After every event each of the top finishers gave credit to God. Wow! There it was —the most important piece of the puzzle. I did not spend any time with God today. In fact, I have not allowed God the kind of entrance he deserves. Over time and for whatever reasons I have slowly pushed God in to the background. That’s what I have to change. And that’s what I will change.
So, I ran three miles and thanked God when I sat down to write this blog. I will run another 3.5 miles in order to get home. I can say with certainty that when I arrive at my front door my attitude will be 180 degrees adjusted from when I left.

I look forward to sharing weekly updates with you. The style and content might vary from the previous years but I promise to keep it interesting, informative and hopefully motivating.